Superfluous Suze

Retail Fail.

2010-05-30T02:38:00.000-07:00

I went shopping in Tesco the other day, yeah i know this blog has really caught your interest now, a shopping trip.. how exciting! but bare with me ;)
I went shopping in Tesco to buy some new bra's, i have had 2 children in 3 years, my body and bust have been so many different shapes and sizes that my bra's range from a modest 32A on a size 10 frame to a pretty impressive 34E on a size 8 frame (yes, i did indeed look like a pornstar for all of 4 days) Anyway, i was browsing through the range of bra's with something specific in mind.. a bra with NO padding, and there were absolutely none in my size! non-padded bra's only started in a larger size, so shops must assume that if you have a smaller bust then obviously you want them to look bigger.. hardly fair, yes sometimes i like wearing a fully padded one depending on the top i'm wearing but most of the time i just want some support and not for them to look 2 sizes bigger.. but apparantly that's not possible. so anyway some rather pretty bright colored bra's caught my attention in another section so i went to have a look, turns out it was the 'teenage' section.. the size range in that part? 28AA to a 32A.. that was it! apparantly if you are a teenager your breasts are small, hmm.. how is that the case? how is it alright when you are 13 with a well endowed bust that you have no choice but to either buy a boring plain bra from the adult section or a sexy bra from the adult section because apparantly since your boobs are larger than a 32A you are now an adult, Very odd assumption from the Retail department don't you think? there are not many teenage girls these days with less than a 32A bust and it's pretty unfair to assume that that's the case.
On the other end of the spectrum.. if you are a fully grown adult, whether your 25 or 70 and you have a 32A or smaller, you have to shop in the teenage section, i cannot imagine how horrible that must be, your in your 30's you feel pretty good to have a slim perky figure but when you go shopping you have to shop in the child's section? how unfair is that..

Retailers have this bizarre assumption that teenagers have small breasts and adults have large? really? is that how it works.. because it certainly does not! especially when they cater for size 6 women like myself in other departments, size 6 women don't have to shop in the child's section.. so how come if you are a small size but also have perfectly in proportion boobs you have to be a child? There is something wrong there. I'm not sure who i feel worse for.. the young girl who goes shopping for her first bra and since she is larger than a 32A she has to choose between the boring grey adult bra's or the saucy adult bra's? i doubt that is what she or her mother are aiming for with a teenage bra! i'm assuming they would want something fun, not something boring or far too grown up..
Or the other side of the scale, being an adult woman who has probably had children (most women after having kids' boobs either grow hugely or shrink down completely) having to shop in the teenage section, how embarrassing that must be!
Now, i know that if you go to a specialist bra shop you can get ANY size you could possibly want in pretty much any style, but why should those be your only options? just because your a kid with a big bust you have to buy expensive bra's? and just because your an adult with a small bust you have to do the same? hardly fair! Sort it out retailers! if your prepared to cater for very skinny women who are a size 6 then you better be prepared to expect that if they are that skinny then it's pretty likely for their bust to be of the same proportions! and they'd better stop assuming that ALL teenager's have small boobs! because they do not! they come in all shapes and sizes in all different ages!

I really want the button bra! :D

Their future happiness starts here, with us.

2010-05-17T05:08:00.000-07:00

I am scared for my two daughters future, no denying that, there are plenty of things to be afraid of, but what about the little things, the things that i can actually do something about, or at least help with, self image.
I look at my daughters and see the most beautiful things in the world. I tell my almost 3 year old how amazingly gorgeous she is every single day and she believes it, for now. But at what point will she start to doubt it? at what stage will she view herself in the mirror and notice things about herself that she isn't happy with? I have no idea, i honestly hope it never happens, but it will, because that's the curse of being a girl, being a woman and being human.
I am a hypocrite.. although i see beauty in everything and everyone else and campaign madly (at least to anyone who will listen!) that natural beauty is always best, that everyone is perfect because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, we are all beautiful to whoever loves us, i am a hypocrite because quite honestly to me, my own face and my own body brings me down on a daily basis, i don't let my daughter see this break down, i hopefully never will, But she hears it all.. she hears my fiance, her dad telling me how beautiful i am and my immediate response of 'no, i'm not.' i do it automatically, there isn't a pause to consider my little two year olds listening ears, no, it's straight out, my own unbending belief that i'm not good enough, not pretty enough.
What sort of an example am i setting here? to her i'm perfect, i'm her mother so of course she thinks that way, so what am i teaching her? that perfection isn't good enough. It's sad, it fills me with guilt all the time, i have failed on that count so so many times, she's almost 3 and how many times has she heard me putting myself down? how many times have i said 'my boobs aren't big enough' 'i'm too skinny' 'i'm ugly' 'i wish i looked like i did before i had kids' 'i wish my legs were firmer' 'my teeth straighter' 'i wish i didn't have these ugly bags under my eyes' Too many times. Once would be too many, but i do all this on a daily basis, i don't even think about it anymore, it just comes out, when i'm getting dressed i see my body and immediately feel down about it and out come all the self hating statements about what i see. When i get my little make-up out and my daughter asks if she can wear some too, what do i say? 'No sweetie, your beautiful, mummy needs make-up because i'm ugly'

I cringe when i think of all the times i've done this, it's setting a bad example, it doesn't matter how many times i tell her she's beautiful because thats not a lesson she needs, we can all see beauty in others, She needs to see that i find myself beautiful so that she can do the same. It's hard but i am going to do everything in my power to change what i say, what i feel about myself and most importantly what she hears.
It needs to change, It's my job as her mother to do everything i can to give her a happy life, so this is what i'll do, I'll concentrate on the good, not the bad.
Mother's of boys.. your job is even tougher! there are too many men out there who believe the image of false women on TV is how they are supposed to look, too many men who believe that all women wear fake tan, have breasts that defy gravity and weigh less than a child, with perfect hair and perfect teeth and that they as men will of course get a woman like this no problem no matter what they themselves look like because it happens that way on TV all the time! lets show them some real beauty, lets bring them up to be the perfect sort of man who isn't attracted to falseness, the sort of man who looks for something real, Someone who is beautiful to HIM not to the rest of the world, Lets bring our boys up to respect women and not see them as objects who need to look perfect constantly, let's bring them up to be Real Men.

All you wonderful mummy's out there.. next time you view yourself in the mirror, don't put yourself down, Look at the GOOD parts, see yourself in the beautiful way that the people who love you do, we are all our worst critics so what we see Isn't what others do. Lets set our children on the right path now, the media is full enough with images of unattainable false beauty let's not add to that, we are all perfect how we are, with all our mummy tummy's and stretch marks and beautiful reminders of the 9 months we grew our babies within us. Lets celebrate our beauty not beat ourselves up about the little imperfections we cannot change.
The future happiness of our daughters depend on us, we are the only ones who can change it, let's not bring the next generation of the women to believe they aren't good enough, aren't pretty enough, lets make them believe they are PERFECT just the way they are, skinny, fat, tall, short, sagging skin, wobbly bums and all!

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do..

2010-05-13T05:56:00.000-07:00

Yes it is, but do you know what's harder? STAYING TOGETHER.
I'm not suggesting that any relationship should be a chore, a daily struggle not to walk away, but it is hard at times.
The beginning of any relationship is the most blissful time, it's passionate and exciting, your getting to know one another, this is also the time usually in the first year, where most couples break up, during the 'getting to know each other' stage you find lots of amazing and interesting qualities about that person, but along with the good comes the bad, there will always be certain things however big or small about another person that aren't exactly perfect, there will always be things you disagree on sometimes and the beginning of the relationship along with the excitement and fun and skin tingling moments when you embrace after a whole long week of not seeing each other, there comes the time when you need to decide if that person is worth their flaws, worth the disagreements and differences of opinion. Do you love that person enough, or could you ever love that person enough to embrace all their flaws, all the parts that aren't necessarily ideal to you? If the answer is no, you go your separate ways, it's sad, it hurts and it is difficult, but it's also the easiest time to break apart, you have no real ties, you don't live together and you don't have a family together, it hurts yes, but you move on.

Next comes the serious stuff, the hardest part i suppose, the real commitment, living together.
Even if you have practically lived in each others pockets for the last year or however long this part is always a bit of a shock, yes you may have spent 24-7 with each other before, staying at each others homes etc, but when you actually start a little home together, it's a completely different thing, there are no breaks, no time-outs, no option to just go home and have a bit of space, there's the paying of bills and all the mundane parts of having your own place, buying things for the house and deciding together whats needed and what's important, this is where the real arguing begins, This part was pretty amazing for me personally, i loved it! i was newly pregnant and it was all rather great! but it was tough at times too, you don't ever think it'll make much difference when you actually officially live together but it does, this is the time when every other flaw or annoyance comes to light, little habits that you either didn't notice or didn't care about before suddenly become a real pain, Leaving his socks lying around the house, not putting the toilet seat down, her deciding she simply cannot live without that lovely little coffee table, her becoming annoyed with the amount of time he spends on the xbox, all little silly things, but they mount up, they all become one. But you do get used to it, if you think it's all worth it, if the amazing 'us' time of blissful happiness far outweighs the silly little annoyances you each have and you both feel the love is strong enough to carry on, then you do! you STAY TOGETHER.

The perfect world would be where love conquered all, but it doesn't, if love was enough to battle through all problems and forgive all indiscretions, but it's not. Love is a beautiful thing, but it's far from perfect.
After a while you may decide to start a family, you may decide to buy a camper van and live in different parts of the world for the rest of your lives together, you may decide to start a business together, buy a dog, a cat, even a fish. whatever it is, you start doing everything TOGETHER, 'me' and 'i' becomes 'we' and 'us'. you don't really notice it happening it just does, your a couple, your no longer just one, it's my favorite part, your not alone for anything anymore, any problems you have are shared completely, any hurt you feel any loneliness is shared and halved and made somehow better by the person who loves you.
I wish i could continue into the next stage and talk about the other tough parts, when 20, 30 or even 50 years have gone by and your still together, i'm sure those will have there own set of problems, boredom perhaps, the itch for a bit of a change, i'm not sure, all i know is that all the problems all the arguments all the hurt and decisions are worth it, so so worth it. I would be willing to spend every day of my life arguing with my man if it meant we could be together, i would spend my life in poverty, in ill health or in pain, if only it meant we could be together, if it meant i could share it with him. Love IS a beautiful thing, it's the best thing. And yes, staying together is hard sometimes, there are times when it will seem almost impossible to stay in love, stay a part of one another, when mistakes are made and you hurt each other, it's tough, it's difficult to see past the bad part, but if you do, if you get through it all together, it'll make you stronger as a couple and after all is said and done it'll be more than worth it in the end.

Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand. ~Emily Kimbrough

Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you. -Source Unknown

Little kindness and courtesies are so important. In relationships, the little things are the big things. - Stephen R. Covey

In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities. -Janos Arnay

Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important. ~Carl Reiner

Each moment of a happy lover's hour is worth an age of dull and common life. -Aphra Behn

"If love was enough I'd wrap it around you
If love was enough to make you stay
If love was enough it would surround you
If love was enough for you"

“To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it.” -Cary Grant (ok so that one has nothing to do with my blog but it did make me laugh!)

Nourishment for the soul.

2010-03-29T12:29:00.000-07:00

The perfect song, what does it mean to you?

"My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer."

are you a lyric lover? certain words in a song that make you smile or crumble into a pit of tears at first hearing it. or are you a fan of the tune, do you notice the incredible talent of the drummer? the brilliance of the vocalist? or show appreciation for an excellent guitar solo with some pretty intense air guitar sessions? or are you one of those who doesn't really pay attention to any detail but you just can't help but jump up and dance to that favourite song that you've loved since childhood but rarely admit to liking in public? or are you all of the above? one of those people who simply adores music from so many different genres and in so many different ways that you quite honestly don't think you could continue to breathe without it?

"Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laugh, sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away"

I'm not too sure which catagory i would fall into.. i guess i'm a lyric lover, there are certain songs and lyrics that make me cry everytime i hear them, no matter where i am at the time or how happy i'm feeling.
some songs mean something so personal to me that i am one of those strange individuals that are pretty damn sure that the artist actually wrote the lyrics specifically for me..

"Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find you and I collide"

what about those songs that you find yourself suddenly singing loudly along to, whether it's playing at the time or not! these are usually the classic 80s songs that you just can't help but love, as ashamed as you may be!

"Karma Karma Karma Karma
Karma Chameleon
You come and go
YOu come and go
Loving would be easy
If your colours were like my dream
Red, gold and green
Red, gold and green"

That's the thing with music, it's all beautiful and it's all amazing in it's own way, i cannot honestly say that the hip hop and house type music and the likes of lady gaga can be actually described as music so they don't count.

"Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga Ooh-la-la!"

But i can appreciate anyones passion for music, no matter the genre, i can listen to it and understand the appeal, if someone loves classical, i can get that, it's an amazing genre, perfect for listening to while reading late at night when everyone else is asleep and dreaming. all types of music have there uses and there appeal, you can't judge someone because they don't like what you like, only judge those who don't like music full-stop. it's almost a crime as far as i'm concerned it's like not appreciating having ears or eyes or tastebuds, music is so essential to life.

"She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by"

It's your very own soundtrack that you create and edit along the way, it's the thing thats with you when you fall in love, when your heart gets broken, when your happy and the sun is shining, when your feeling a little low and just know theres that one song that will always cheer you up, it's even with you at the end.. how many of us have already picked out a song we want played at our funeral? i know i have!.. what would yours be?

"May angels lead you in.
And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
god wouldn't let it live.
May angels lead you in."

what one song would you choose to sum up your life so far? what one song would you love for others to hear and think 'yeah, that's THEIR song, thats them, everytime i hear it i think of them' which song speaks to you the loudest? brings the best memories, the good times, the bad times and all the times inbetween, music was there as a constant companion, a constant therapist, something reliable and amazing. It's a beautiful thing.. those that create it and those who appreciate it.

A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence. ~Leopold Stokowski

Videos destroyed the vitality of rock and roll. Before that, music said, "Listen to me." Now it says, "Look at me."
-- Billy Joel

"Music is my Religion" - James Marshall Hendrix

Rock and roll music, if you like it, if you feel it, you can't help but move to it. That's what happens to me. I can't help it.'
Elvis Presley

Music is the poetry of the air. ~Richter

Beauty And The Beast.

2010-03-25T14:06:00.000-07:00

Let's start with 'Beauty'.. Megan Fox has been voted the worlds sexiest woman many times by many many men, let's have a look shall we?

Ok, now.. when i look at this picture, the word 'beauty' doesn't enter my mind at all, other words do, like, Fake, plastic and slutty. The men who vote her as 'the worlds sexiest' are the same men who claim to dislike fake breasts.. strange, she has had a boob job, she has also had Lip fillers, a nose job and there is definately some sort of chin or cheek implants going on there (though people aren't too sure about those) Now is this really what women have to aspire to? to be seen as sexy? we have to fill ourselves with plastic, be photoshoppped and wear slutty clothing? that's a real shame, any man who views the above picture and thinks 'aw yeah, she's hot' i actually feel quite sorry for you, if that's your idea of attractive your going to find it quite difficult to find a woman who lives up to that ideal. Quite frankly in my opinion she looks hideous, in pictures i've seen of her from when she was younger, before all the surgery i thought she looked really pretty, not anymore, i don't see 'pretty' i just see plastic.

Let's move onto the 'Beast' I've been spending a little time on google images this morning, typing things like 'worst celebrity bikini bodies' etc and i was quite shocked with what came up, the majority of the 'worst' bodies were women who were over 40, a mother or anything above a size 12. Wonderful. so heres what the media portrays as 'ugly'

Yes, vile, wouldn't you agree? It's insane, she is a beautiful woman, just because she's 'real' that makes her ugly? she's had 2 children (which is obviously a disgusting thing, it stops you from looking like a toned 19 year old.. which concludes that you become ugly) and she's bigger than a size zero. Yes she's so ugly, so imperfect. i bet she's really upset that her beautiful curves don't turn on all the immature little boys out there like the hard lumps of plastic attached to Megan Foxes chest.
Women are made to feel ugly every time they switch the TV on, we are bombarded with images of what is beautiful and what is not. I just want to say a huge thank you to all the Real men out there who look at images of Megan Fox, Pamela Anderson, Jordan etc and think.. No, she's not for me, i'm not a fan of plastic. The same men who would look at a 'real' woman and think she is glorious in all her 'imperfections' a man who is not controlled by what he is 'supposed' to be attracted to, a man who is mature enough to see things for what they are. Plastic, photo shopped images are there for the little hormone driven boys out there to have a good.. um.. time to. Not for grown men who hopefully by the age of 20 have seen and appreciated a real woman's body, in all it's perfect imperfections.
Natural beauty should be celebrated not condemned.

(I ADDED THE ABOVE POST TO THE FOLLOWING ONE BECAUSE THEY WERE SO SIMILAR ANYWAY!)

Some people are born with birthmarks that cover their entire faces, some people get burnt and have to live there lives with massive scarring, some women suffer through and conquer breast cancer but are left with only one of their breasts, some people have been blessed with their mothers small dainty facial features and then lumped with great uncle Rogers abnormally large roman nose..
these are the people that plastic surgery was intended for, it was meant to improve certain features that make it hard for that person to live their lives, it was not intended to enlarge some already perfect lips, not meant to suck fat from a perfectly normal sized pair of legs, nor to enlarge breasts to the size (and feel) of melons. yet this is what it has become, 50 year old women that have had their faces pulled back to such extremes that they have less wrinkles than their grand children and also close to no facial mobility. Becoming older terrifies me, is that what i have to look like to be seen as beautiful, are we not allowed to grow old gracefully? to aquire laughter lines that show that we have indeed laughed during and enjoyed our time in the world.

I was blessed with a slim figure, that's what people may think when looking at me, what do i see? a prepubescent 10 year old boys figure on a woman who is 23 and has had 2 children. I am one of those that mother nature decided did not need anything to fill a bra or any hips to speak of. i hate that, i won't lie. but why do i hate it so much? it has its up sides, when i'm 90 my breasts will still be somewhat perky, i can still sleep comfortably on my stomach, i don't get men staring at my chest instead of my face. ok, all well and good, but i still look in the mirror and hate what i see. why is that? because of the abnormally large breasts i see on the TV seeming to have no sence of gravity and hanging to the chest of a 19 year old girl who weighs as much as a child, that's why.

We as women, and men almost as much so these days, are getting attacked on a daily basis on what is perfect, we must at all times have perfect teeth, perfect hair, be slim but not overly so and have at least a good pair of DD's, and it gets worse, much worse for women who have had children, images of celebrities with toned abs and boobs up to their chins little more than a week after giving birth, and oh yes they've had 4 children and no help from the surgeons knife, yeah right! im lucky in that my stomach is what it always was, but everything else? oh yes, all gone a little more south than i would like. but of course! that's whats supposed to happen. when did it become OK for mothers to feel ashamed of their beautiful stomachs that have grown and nurtured a child? when did it become ok for a size 12 woman to feel fat? when did it become OK for a teenaged girl to beg their parents for breast surgery just to make them feel normal.
It's not ok, we're all different, that should be celebrated, we were all born with different bodies and different minds, we should not be made to feel ugly simply because we don't fit into what it is currently deemed to be attractive.
why don't we just aspire to be happy with ourselves, aspire to be naturally beautiful and make the most of what we were born with, let's be content to be ourselves and be happy, if we want to aspire to a certain way of looking then how about to the natural beauties out there, there are plenty of them! take a look..

“Plastic surgery and breast implants are fine for people who want that, if it makes them feel better about who they are. But, it makes these people, actors especially, fantasy figures for a fantasy world. Acting is about being real being honest.” - Kate Winslet.

"Beautiful young people are accidents of nature. But beautiful old people are works of art." - Marjorie Barstow Breenbie

"Looks are so deceptive that people should be done up like food packages with the ingredients clearly labeled." - Helen Hudson

"The reason the all-American boy prefers beauty over brains is that the all-American boy can see better than he can think." - Farrah Fawcett Majors

"Cosmetics is a boon to every woman, but a girl's best beauty aid is still a near-sighted man." - Yoko Ono

"I don't need plastic in my body to validate me as a woman." - Courtney Love

"Cosmetic surgery is terrifying. It never looks good. Those women look weird. They look in the mirror and think they look great, but they don't see what we see. I think it's hideous. They scare small children." - Model Jerry Hall

"I'd like to grow old with my face moving." - Kate Winslet